DGSM Strong Suggestion #1: Approach Her!!!

I don’t know it is an urban phenomenon, or a generational thing, or specific to my locale (San Francisco, and that might be significant, if you are a math person. More on that later), but it seems like men in their late twenties to mid-thirties are becoming wallflowers. Everywhere I go, I see men holding up the wall, staring and staring and not making a move to try to meet women.

Maybe they are gay. Or maybe in a city full of gay men, the percentage of the single male population left over is in disproportionately high demand and therefore they don’t have to do any work! They are like an endangered species that has forgotten how to hunt. Poor birds. But why so helpless?

I mean, if we assume women are nearly 50% of the population, and there are definitely more gay men in SF than gay women, then there are wayyyyyy too many single straight women for each single straight man. This town is a straight man’s paradise! The secret is out! (It is San Francisco, after all. Gay or straight, we are all out). A guy who’s a “6” in any other city is an automatic “8” in San Francisco. If you are a member of a minority group (Jewish, Black, etc.) in which the women tend to want to date members of their own and have a hard time finding suitable ptions, give yourself another point or two on the one-to-ten scale.

Yup, this is a straight man’s paradise. But that doesn’t make it okay to be a cad. And many of us women are not attracted to guys who make us do all the work. So my Strong Suggestion #1 is to Make Your Approach. Wherever you happen to reside, be it the straight man's paradise by the bay or elsewhere, if you see a woman you are interested in, say, “hello.” It doesn’t have to be a huge risk. It’s just a friendly overture. See where it goes. If she’s responsive, let the conversation flow and take it from there. If she's not, what did you really lose with that "hello?"

I think maybe a lot of men don’t make an approach because they are scared of rejection. Well, of course you are, sweetums! But if you learn how to read signals properly, you won’t be rejected as often as you fear. Which leads us to our next installment: Reading Signals. Stay tuned.