Maybe I Need Wieniedar

Sometimes, even when there is no spark, I will give things more of a chance with someone because he seems like a nice guy. I cancelled my last date with a certain puportedly nice guy because I wasn't feeling well. Surprisingly, he didn't say, "Hope you feel better." He didn't call me that day or that week to see how I was feeling. So I felt like if he wasn't interested in my well-being, eh, I really didn't need to pursue things with him.

But prior to all this, he invited me to see David Sedaris live and I had accepted. I called him a couple of days before the show to check in since we hadn't talked since I'd been sick. I also wanted to give him an out, since he had asked me to go as his date, and I didn't want to date him now. So I was going to say I was looking forward to it but if he still intended the evening to be a date, I would understand if he preferred to ask someone else.

So I called and he said he was "very hurt" by my abrupt cancellation a few weeks ago (I told him I was sick!!) and that I should have called him later that evening to see if he was available to get together (But I was still sick!). This man is 43 years old, mind you, but for some reason sat there feeling woefully sorry for himself instead of just calling me himself. (I guess I should have called him a waaaahmbulance). Then he said that he knew we had "tentatively discussed maybe going to David Sedaris together" but since I hurt him so much, he had already invited someone else. (The poor woman! lol).

So I said it was fine, but I did gently call him on his b.s., and point out that we had set plans when he decided to invite another person without informing me that he was cancelling our plans. I said that if he wasn't interested in dating, he should have just said so, not tried to put blame on me. He said I really hurt him by the "abrupt way" I cancelled. He went on and on about how my "abrupt cancellation" hurt his feelings. Then he tried to see if we still had a chance. I had to laugh.

Sometimes it's hard to discern the authentic nice guys from the passive-aggressive wienies.