Might as well start talking to myself, that way I'm guaranteed an audience.

A couple of weeks ago, Mr. Hottie and I were doing some shopping at Trader Joe's. We were meandering along each aisle, and when we reached the dried fruits and nuts (I feel like there should be a joke there, but nothing comes to mind just yet. Probably for the best.) I faced the shelves and commented, "I love cashews but I can't buy them because I never stop eating them." The inventory clerk who was standing next to me, restocking the dried peaches, paused and slowly turned to look at me, and said, "Uhh.....Oh."

Puzzled, I turned to the my right, looking for Mr. Hottie, who was nowhere to be found! I had inadvertently been talking to myself (Don't you hate when that happens, and doesn't it seem to happen most often in grocery stores?). I realized how strange my cashew nut announcement must have seemed in the absence of my intended audience, so I laughed and told the clerk that I was talking to my friend, who must have headed in another direction. He laughed in relief, and I said, "Oh, you must have thought that I just make random announcements in the grocery aisles!" We contemplated a visit to the dairy refrigerator, where I would stare straight ahead at the milk and announce, "I like the organic milk, but I never seem to finish it before the expiry date" and off to the sauces aisle where he would share his feelings on stocking glass jars.