6.26.2007

Anal-Retentives of the World, Unite and Take Over!

Morrissey had his thing for shoplifters, I have my thing for office supplies, and perhaps a confluence of the two would be shoplifting office supplies. Minor office supply cabinet pilfering aside (and really, it's barely a thing, maybe a highlighter pen here and there on my way to a field meeting, which I later put in my purse and forget to return to the office stash- though I admit I find binder clips fascinatingly tempting . . . but that doesn't mean one should assume I lay my sticky fingers on them for non-work purposes, ahem), I get a certain joy in buying office supplies.

Okay, I get a certain joy in simply perusing the meticulous aisles of an office supply store, especially independently owned establishments that also carry a lot of caligraphy and art supplies, neither of which I have any use for, and Japanese stationary stores, with their variety of colored filing folders and colored notebooks and erasers in the shapes of hamburgers or maki rolls that send me into an over-stimulated, mouth-gaping trance. I have a love for things I do not need, and even after considering how I can find a way to need the object in order to justify it's purchase ("Hmmm...this graph lined notebook would be perfect for trigonometry class, but I don't take trigonometry class . . . But!! I could use it to practice perfecting my Hebrew script, each letter perfectly spaced, height and width . . . like Jewish serial killer handwriting . . ."), still do not need.

But the fantasy of a streamlined, organized life lures me in, so I am forever struggling with the inclination to buy versus the inclination not to add to my clutter, which, more than separation of Church and State, is the quintessential American struggle. And which is ironic, since the appeal of the stationary and office supplies, which add to my clutter, is the promise of a more organized, birthday-remembering, filing system wizard, everything-has-it's-place-and-is-exactly-there, Me.

But! There is nothing wrong with looking, right? And I found my new favorite place to peek. Under "Shop by Product," they actually list a category entitled "Life Organization" (cue angels singing). They sell punctuated page marks! What the hell are those?! Something I've never thought of in my life but suddenly am very desirous of, for Lord only knows what purpose. It's not only full of pretty office supplies, but it has all these great articles about getting organized that I plan to print out, read, and file away right on top of that mountain of paper on my desk.

No comments: